The Road Less Travelled
by Metamorphosis2011
Summary: Future fic, AU. It's 2024, Dave Karofsky lived the perfect life, as far as he was concerned. There were some things from his past, he chose not to remember, but then one fateful night in a bar, his whole life came crushing down on him.
1. Chapter 1

The Road Less Travelled

This is a future fic, AU from the end of Season 2, that is, Dave Karofsky never left McKinnley and in fact didn't get comfortable with his sexuality. If the story follows the way I have it planned out so far, it will get fairly angsty, but I do love my happy endings.

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><p>Prologue<p>

Dave Karofsky had the perfect life, or at least that's what he would tell anyone who would ask. He had a great job as a lawyer at one of the top firms in Columbus; he had a beautiful wife, as was expected of someone in his position, two kids, a dog, a big enough house and a car. He managed to stay in fairly good shape, despite his job demanding of him to spent too much time stuck behind some desk or other. Ok, so there were the unresolved anger issues, he had ever since he was a teenager and for which he had been to too many anger management courses to remember. The recurring bouts of depression, he couldn't explain and for which he had to take pills whenever they got really bad, the fact that although he loved his wife, or at least thought he did, he hardly could get it up in the bedroom department, but his wife being as gracious as she was, just tended to ignore it and acted as though everything was normal. 'But who hasn't got problems, right?', he always reminded himself when these questions and doubts raised their ugly head. So by all accounts he should be content. Why did he feel at times though like there was something more, as though there was something that just wants to burst out, hiding deep inside of him, something he had long ago decided to bury and forget about. That empty feeling, he never really allowed to surface, and thank god that most of the time he was too busy or too tired to have the time to have to deal with.

Yes, Dave Karofsky wore his mask almost perfectly.

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><p>AN This is my first ever attempt at writing fanfiction, but this story has been going round in my head for months now, so I decided to give it a go. Constructive criticism would be very welcome. If you like it, please let me know, it would give me the incentive to continue. the next couple of chapters are almost done.


	2. Chapter 2

The Road Less Travelled

Chapter 1

Today would be one of those busy days. He had to meet with two very important potential new clients before rushing halfway across town to catch Ruby and Toby in their school play. Of course he always tried to be there for the kids' activities like a loving father should. After, he had to rush home and pack his suitcase to head off on the 2 hour drive to Cincinnati to meet yet with another client, his boss would like him to sweet talk into accepting their services. He decided to spend the night in a local hotel, as no doubt the meeting would last until late and he didn't want to be under any time constraint. And in between that he would have had to find time somewhere to at least make conversation with his wife.

By the time he finally was in the car driving to Cincinnati, he was already worn out. He relished this feeling though, too tired to think but not tired enough not to function. He knew a few cups of coffee once he arrived would be all he needed to make it through the evening.

And boy, what an evening it turned out to be. This potential client proved to be a real hard cookie and it took a really expensive meal and a lot of sweet talking from Dave (yes, he knew how to turn on the charm when he had to) to eventually get the guy's business. They parted ways shortly after midnight, and Dave felt way to giddy to sleep. But in all honesty it was the prospect of an empty hotel room that probably made him decide to just head out for a bit, find a nice bar, get drunk, just enough to help him feel sleepy and head back to the hotel.

He asked the taxi driver whether he knew of any decent bars not too far from his hotel, and not 10 minutes later he was walking through the door of a decent enough looking place. There was music playing in the background and it was very busy, as was to be expected for a Friday night. He made his way to the bar and ordered a beer before finding a quiet corner to sit down and to just watch the world go by.

He was on his third beer and slowly starting to feel the effects, when he saw HIM in the crowd and his world came crushing down on him.


	3. Chapter 3

The Road Less Travelled

Chapter 2

He recognised him straight away, even after all these years. The poise, the attitude and that face. His heart rate increased, his hands started to sweat, he started feeling dizzy. He was overwhelmed by the flood of emotions that one look at Kurt Hummel triggered in him. He tried to convince himself that no, this wasn't happening, these feelings went away a long time ago, he didn't have those sort of feelings anymore, he chose to forget. It was as though all these things had been locked away in a chest and buried and now, somehow just Kurt's presence had managed to dig up this chest and let it burst open. He couldn't breathe, he just had to get away and then he could forget about this, bury this secret again somewhere in the depths of his brain, hopefully never to be found again. He prayed that Kurt would not spot him, as he tried making his way to the exit, his legs shaking. He was almost at the door when he felt a hand tapping him on his back. He froze. He didn't need to be a psychic to know who it was standing behind him. Confirmation came when he heard that beautiful voice "Dave? It's you isn't it?"

Time seemed to stand still and he couldn't breathe. Should he just walk and ignore him, so what if Kurt thought he was being rude, it was not as though he could really ruin any reputation. On the other hand that desire to just look at him, look into those eyes made his stomach wrench. Before he could really think, he turned around and wow, the years had been kind to Kurt. He was even more beautiful than Dave remembered. Kurt was staring at him, half smiling, waiting for Dave to say something, but Dave couldn't really get his mouth to work. "Hey, it is you!" Kurt exclaimed, with an amused expression. He almost seemed glad to see Dave, which seemed sort of weird. Yes, they made up at the end of junior year and became acquaintances but Dave knew that he was never really a close friend of Kurt's and obviously they hadn't stayed in contact after high school.

Finally Dave's brain kicked back into action, "hey Kurt, what a surprise. It sure had been a while, what like 12 years. It's good to see you". Dave tried to smile but felt more like being sick. "Yeah, it has and it is good to see you, a surprise, I have to say but good." Kurt smiled a tight smile. "So I noticed you were just about to leave, I mean do you have to go or… it would be nice to catch up". Kurt looked at Dave with an unreadable expression. Dave wondered if he was just being polite or if he really wanted to catch up with him. And above all would catching up with Kurt be a wise thing to do. He could already feel some of the confusion and anger build up inside him, it's as though Kurt was a catalyst for these feelings. But at the same time he couldn't physically make himself leave. "Sure, why not. I don't exactly have to be anywhere. I am just here for the night, before going back to Columbus tomorrow." Kurt quirked an eyebrow at that "Oh, you live in Columbus now. How exciting. Tell me how did you end up there? Come on, I buy you a drink and then you can tell me all about it. Funny enough, I don't have to be anywhere tonight either." Kurt gestured to the bar and Dave followed, almost like a lost puppy.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3

Kurt asked Dave what he wanted to drink and once he had paid for Dave's beer and his white wine, they were lucky enough to find a small table for them to sit at. "So, spill." Kurt said looking expectantly at Dave, "what's been going on with you since high school?" Dave could sense that there was so much more in that question than the actual words. He could almost see it written all over Kurt's face, what he probably really wanted to ask was whether Dave came out and now lived happily ever after wearing rainbow shirts. Not that there was any coming out to do, as far as Dave was concerned, he made a choice way back when and life had worked ok until tonight. So ignoring the painful feeling in his gut, he just went ahead and told him how he went to Columbus to study law and was lucky enough to get an internship at one of the firm's and at the end of it they offered him a job and he's been there ever since, trying to work his way up the career ladder. He deliberately left out any personal details, he would be damned walking into that trap tonight.

But he should have known Kurt better, of course, he could not let it rest there, so after Kurt filled Dave in briefly on the fact that he lives in Cincinnati now, teaches music at a local high school and does some acting in his spare time, he had to dig and enquire about family and anyone special in Dave's life in between getting them more drinks. Dave just wanted to get wasted at this stage, anything to take away the gut wrenching pain that had continually built up in his stomach over the last hour or so. And between the option of just trashing something or getting completely wasted, completely wasted seemed like the smarter choice.

He actually lied to Kurt and said that he hadn't quite found the right person yet, and deflected any more questions by asking Kurt in return about his relationships, not that he really wanted to hear it. Kurt told him all about this _wonderful guy_, Alan, he has been with for over five years now, and although it's nice it seemed like something was missing. Kurt said that he sometimes felt like he was being taken for granted and Alan was just staying with him because it was convenient. In fact, Kurt enlightened Dave, they had had a fight earlier and that is the reason why Kurt was in a bar alone on a Friday night, just trying to get away from it all for a bit.

Dave tried to look interested as he listened to Kurt's story but really he was just in internal turmoil. Having Kurt just talk about his gay relationship like Dave would talk to his friends about his marriage, made all the pent up frustration almost too much to bear. He suddenly noticed that Kurt had stopped talking and stared at Dave's hand, eyes suddenly narrow and almost shocked. "What's that?", he said, pointing to the ring on Dave's finger. "You married? What the hell, Dave, I thought you said you didn't have anyone special in your life. Go on tell…" Kurt stopped in his tracks, the wheels in his brain slowly starting to turn. Dave just stared at him, the anger now obvious in his face. "Oh…" Kurt almost squeaked. He had his ice cold bitch face on now. "Don't tell me you're still in the closet and pretend to be happily married", he said with a harshness to his voice that completely took Dave by surprise.

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><p>AN I managed to put this chapter up as well tonight, the next one will be tough to write but I hope I will have it up by tomorrow.


	5. Chapter 5

Wow, thanks everyone who added this story to their story alerts and favourites. I feel honored and inspired to carry on!

A/N This chapter was quite tough to write, but I don't think I would be able to improve it much more if I spend the next couple of hours staring at it, so here it is.  
>This turned out a bit more angsty than intended, the boys sort of got carried away in my head. Let me know if you think I got it right, or otherwise constructive criticism is always welcome.<p>

Oh, and I don't own Glee, otherwise Max Adler would be in every episode, and all the mistakes are mine, as I have no beta.

**Warnings:** slight language, and if you're very sensitive a very slight hint at dubcon

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><p>Chapter 4<p>

Dave couldn't hold his emotions in any longer. Punching the table hard with his fist, Dave got up. "Fuck you, Kurt Hummel. Who do you think you are? Don't you dare judge me and the choices I make in my life. You know what, I had enough, this was a bad idea". Dave grabbed his jacket and staggered out of the bar as fast as he could. He did have way too much to drink and things were looking a bit hazy around him. Once outside he stopped to steady himself. He was breathing hard, probably on the verge of hyperventilating and he could feel himself crying. When he had started, he couldn't remember.

Kurt was staring in disbelief, as Dave stormed out of the bar. But he was so angry right now, he just wanted to give him a piece of his mind. No one spoke to him like that and especially not Dave Karofsky. And yes, Kurt felt fully justified in judging Dave after everything they'd been through in the past. It almost felt as though eveything between them had been for nothing, now that he knew Dave never actually accepted himself and it brought back some old pain. Kurt had held on to that hope, on the occasions that he thought about Dave, that everything had happened for a reason back then, and that once out of Lima Dave would just embrace his being gay. Now he just wanted to shout at him, to catch him out for the fraud Kurt thought he was, so grabbing his jacket, he ran after Dave, and he didn't even have to go very far, he saw him leaning against a wall just a few feet away. "HEY", Kurt screamed, "don't you dare shout at me like that. You fucking coward." Kurt was so angry, he just wanted to tear into Dave. "I really thought back then that there was hope for you but obviously I was completely wrong. I get it, you just don't have the balls to actually admit and stand up for who you are but don't try and put this one me just because I called you out on it. So how is it going? Having a good sex life with your little wifey, or do you have to think about giving it hard to some guy while you're sleeping with her?"

Kurt just couldn't stop himself, he had no idea where all this anger was coming from. Maybe it was just the fact that someone he sort of cared about in the past would choose to be miserable over just being honest with themselves, Kurt was convinced that Dave was miserable from the minute he sat eyes on him in the bar, and after pretty much figuring out the details he just couldn't understand why someone would do that to themselves. Yes, this lack of understanding why Dave chose this made Kurt so angry. He just wanted to scream at Dave until he got it that there has always been another option. Also he had to admit the fact that somehow Dave affected him more than he really should and he had a feeling that is was the same for Dave by the way Dave was glaring at him through tear stained eyes. He couldn't quite put a finger on it but for now it just felt good to scream at someone, something he would not allow himself to do under normal circumstances but these were anything but.

Dave just clenched his fists and punched the wall, "shut up", he shouted at Kurt, "just shut up, will you?" Tears were still running down his face. "Why?" Kurt shouted back, now being almost uncomfortably close to Dave. "Because what I say is telling the truth? Is it?" he glared at Dave. "You have fucking no idea, you don't know anything about my life, so how dare you!", Dave was screaming back at him. Kurt's words stung worse than if he would have actually stabbed him in the heart with a blade. Everything Kurt was shouting at him was everything Dave had never ever allowed himself to think. "Shut the fuck up!" was all Dave was getting out while his fist punched the wall again. "What the hell do you care anyway? Go back to your faggy little life with your wonderful boyfriend and leave me alone," he almost pleaded with Kurt now. Kurt was just so close and an all too familiar rush of feelings and emotions was slowly working its way to the surface and Dave didn't know how much longer he could keep them under control.

But of course Kurt wasn't moving. Instead he was inching even closer to Dave. "Yes, why would I give a damn?" Kurt spat out, knowing he was lying, somehow he did care, otherwise this wouldn't have worked him up as much as it did. "After all you were a closet case back in high school and even though I hoped you would be brave enough to accept yourself, I was obviously wrong. Why would I care that whenever you kiss your wife you probably wonder what it would be like to kiss some guy," Kurt closed the last bit of distance between them and looked Dave directly in the eyes, almost as if to challenge him. In a weird way, Kurt found himself being turned on by this whole situation, maybe it was the rush of adrenaline or the power he seemed to somehow hold over Dave, and he definitely wanted to push Dave to the limit No doubt if Kurt wouldn't have had as much to drink as he did, he would have run a mile already. This was dangerous. "Why would I care that you never would allow yourself to just touch a guy the way you would want to or for a guy to touch you", and with that Kurt suddenly grabbed Dave's crotch and gave it a little squeeze. Dave just groaned out at the feeling, tears streaming down his face, but not doing anything to push Kurt away. Instead he leaned back his head and closed his eyes, gulping for air in between sobs. A small part of Kurt was thinking that maybe he should have done this twelve years ago, just show Dave what it could feel like, and maybe just maybe Dave would have had the balls to accept himself. "You like this, don't you?" Kurt was feeling daring now, he could sense that Dave was close to breaking point, so he went in for the kill. Leaning into Dave, Kurt whispered into his ear "you want this, you want me, don't you. You want to know what it feels like to have some guy suck your cock, to fuck him so hard until he screams, don't you?" He could hear Dave's ragged breathing, "come on, don't be a coward for once in your life and just do what feels right," Kurt teased, his mouth hovering dangerously close to Dave's. He had no idea why the hell he was doing this but he was beyond caring.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N This chapter is somewhat longer than the others, I just couldn't find a convenient break in the flow, so decided to post it as one bigger chapter. As always, reviews and constructive criticism are always welcome.

Mistakes are all my own

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><p>Chapter 5<p>

Kurt's last words literally pushed Dave over the edge. He let his brain shut down and probably for the first time in his life, he just let go and let himself give into his desires. Grabbing Kurt, he changed their positions and pinned Kurt up against the wall and started to hungrily kiss him. This wasn't a romantic kiss; it was aggressive and demanding but also desperate and hungry. Dave thrust his tongue inside Kurt's mouth without asking for access first. He let out a low moan when Kurt responded just as aggressively, fighting for dominance with his tongue and grabbing the back of Dave's head and pulling at Dave's hair. Kurt's world around him was collapsing, it was just this hungry kiss and he wanted more. Maybe it was just that despite as messed up as this situation was, he felt wanted, so much more than he had lately. The way Dave kissed him, almost ravished his mouth, like he couldn't live one second longer without him send a jolt of fire through his whole body.

Dave went on to suck hard on Kurt's neck, a whimper escaping him, while his leg worked his way between Kurt's and pressed against Kurt's crotch, which made Kurt jerk his hips forward in response. Pulling hard on Dave's hair, he made him look at him. He could see that Dave's pupils were already blown and that Dave had trouble focussing on him. Kurt himself found it hard to concentrate on anything else other than his arousal. Kurt moved his mouth to Dave's neck and started sucking hard, relishing in the response the other man was giving him, by throwing his head back and just letting Kurt take over. Dave's hand let go of Kurt's still pinned arms and started to roam up and down Kurt's upper body, just trying to feel Kurt and desperate to find a point of entry into his clothes. He wanted to feel Kurt's skin. Now that his defences were blown to pieces, he could admit to himself that that was something he had always wanted. Kurt's hands were now moving just as frantically and he managed rather quickly to pull Dave's shirt out of his pants and let his hands move under it. Kurt groaned at the touch of Dave's warm skin and as he moved up he could feel the chest hair and the muscled chest and he just wanted to touch more.

There was a shout of "ey, get a room" and a few giggles from a group of girls passing by, and it pulled them out of their trancelike state. Dave jumped back as though Kurt suddenly was on fire. They both were just staring at each other, panting hard and chests heaving. Kurt's brain slowly switched back on as he took in the whole scene that just had unfolded not mere seconds ago. What on earth was he doing, he thought as he looked at Dave. He couldn't help but notice the shock and panic in Dave's face and a fresh bout of tears, and what the hell had Kurt been thinking. Dave was right, he had no right to get so angry at him, to yell at him and to judge him about his life choices and then to come after him and, what? Seduce him? Coax him into having sex? "I'm so sorry, Dave", he gasped, as realisation of what he had just done hit him fully. "I really am…. So sorry, I had no right…" Kurt almost had tears in his eyes now. "I'll better be leaving. I hope your life works out for you. So sorry..." Kurt whimpered before running away as fast as he could.

Dave just let him leave. He was too paralysed by everything that had just happened to move. He just let the tears stream down his face. He felt sick and just stared at the wall trying to get himself under control. After a few minutes he was able to move his feet again, so he set off towards his hotel. He really was feeling sick and the world was spinning around him; he hoped he would make it before quite possibly passing out. Once inside his room, he just made it to the toilet in time to empty his stomach of all its contents of tonight's dinner and copious amounts of alcohol. He rinsed out his mouth and leaning on the sink for support, stared at his reflection in the mirror. How did this happen how did he let himself get out of control like that? This was not him; he didn't want to be this person. He had a life, a wife and kids, a job and friends, who he would all lose if he would allow himself to be this person he was tonight. Above all, he still wasn't sure whether to actually believe this whole 'born this way' philosophy or whether someone like him was just defect and needed to be fixed. He decided a long time ago that as he couldn't resolve this conflict in his mind, it would be easier to just not deal with it. Whenever the topic even remotely reared its head in discussions or at church, he would just conveniently blend it out. After all, if it didn't concern him, then it wouldn't bother him, or not? And he had managed fine so far, hadn't he, and he definitely didn't want to deal with it, he told his reflection.

He let his eyes linger on his mirror image, 'gosh, I look like shit', he thought, and then he saw it, a big dark blue mark from where Kurt had sucked on his neck. "Oh fuck…" he groaned out; new tears forming in his eyes. He just sunk to the floor and cried. It would all be over now. His wife would see this and of course demand to know what happened. And what was he going to say. If he lied and told her he was with a woman it would be over, and if he told the truth about tonight and what he did, she would probably just think he was sick and leave as well, either way he would lose. His chest started hurting; he suddenly found it hard to breathe. He knew what this was; he was on the verge of a panic attack. He tried so hard, he tried holding it all together; to be there for everyone and to function as everybody would expect him to and now it would all just come tumbling down. He just sobbed. Eventually, he managed to get to his toiletries bag and pull out some of his tablets he had for emergencies like this. He popped two and sat back down on the floor, willing to get his breathing under control. He eventually was calm enough to crawl to bed and the tablets were slowly doing their job. He finally drifted off into a very uneasy sleep.

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Kurt stopped outside his block of flats. He wasn't sure if he actually wanted to go home and face Alan. He just didn't need any more drama for one night. His mind was still racing. He tried to process what had happened earlier and asked himself why he let it get as far as it did. The realisation hit him: that he was prepared to cheat on Alan! He had never cheated on anyone before, and what did that say about the sorry state their relationship was in. Kurt had been lying a bit earlier as well. Yes, Alan was wonderful in the beginning but ever since they moved in together he seemed to be just getting more and more distant, he just didn't really seem to care that much anymore. There are days when they were hardly communicating. Subconsciously Kurt knew that most likely he was just settling, but he was almost 30 and he just desperately wanted to have this happy family life he had always dreamed of. He had been getting impatient. So when Alan asked him two years ago if they wanted to take their relationship to the next level and move in together, he readily agreed, putting so much hope in it, although it was obvious that they didn't want the same things for their future. But Kurt like so many others, believed that once you're living together things would just fall into place and that he could somehow convince Alan to share in his dreams, or at least some of them. The irony of this did not pass him by, as he sneered at the thought. There he had been berating Dave about his life, but were his choices that much better? In a way Kurt was ruled by fear just as much as Dave was. Yes, Kurt never really was afraid of accepting who he was but there were other fears, fear about getting older and not finding the right person to settle down with. Of losing out on the chance of starting a family, of ending up alone or just in a string of non meaningful relationships. He groaned. He could feel his eyes watering. No, he was not starting to cry. He was a strong person and he will handle this whole mess. With any luck, he can sort things out with Alan in the morning and than they can move on with their lives. With new determination, he finally entered their flat and wasn't really surprised that Alan had gone to bed. He was not sure whether to be furious or relieved. He quietly made his way to the guest room. He just couldn't sleep in the same bed tonight. Too much anger, guilt and shame were still lingering inside him. He was even too tired and still to drunk to worry about having his usual evening shower and skincare routine. He slipped out of his clothes, just throwing them on the floor, and climbed into bed, waiting for sleep to claim him.

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><p>Our boys will meet again, don't worry.<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Wow, I am still getting new story alerts. Thanks so much for everyone who is reading this.

And reviews would make me happier still :-) (yes, I am blatantly fishing for reviews)

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><p>Chapter 6<p>

Dave woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and a sewer like taste in his mouth. He slowly came around and remembered having been sick and obviously forgotten to brush his teeth afterwards. He didn't want to open his eyes. Instead he let his mind wander back to the night before, as its events slowly came back to him. The image of Kurt's beautiful eyes full of life, and the way he was making Dave feel. No, stop that, he told himself. Instead he tried to focus on his family. Was it still possible to go back to the way things were? He remembered the hickey and sighed. But feeling more in control now than he did last night; he decided that he had to give it at least a shot. He got out of bed to look at the damage close up. The hickey was quite low down, so if he would just wear button down shirts and ties and his proper pyjamas with the high collar, he might be able to get away with it. It's not as though his wife would expect him to get naked and have sex with her the minute he gets home. Yes, he tried to convince himself, this might work.

A small part of him wanted to protest that this was still just delaying the inevitable, that what he felt and did last night was what would make him happy, was who he really was, but he squashed that voice down. He had done it before, he could do it again. He wanted to not give up the life he had, disappoint the people who love him and care about him. Basically he didn't want to lose everything he had. Maybe, just maybe, if he had been brave enough all those years ago to accept himself instead of denying himself, he could have learned to be happy like this, could have build a life for himself but now too many people depended on him, he would just have to find a way to cope.

He grabbed a few headache tablets out of the overnight bag and swallowed them, hoping they would start to work soon, so he could leave this town, forget last night ever happened and get away as far from here as possible and never come back. And most of all forget about Kurt. About that man who apparently even after all those years could crumble down all his defences just with his presence. He let out a long drawn sigh as he put on his clothes from yesterday, as his change of clothes he brought would allow the hickey to show. He would just have to come up with some explanation for his wife, should she ask. He checked him mobile, which he had put on silent before he headed off to the meeting last night, and saw a few missed calls from his wife. He sent a quick text message to Heather, saying that he was ok and will be leaving shortly. He normally would call her at least once when he's away overnight. But he didn't want to talk to anyone now and pretend that everything was hunky-dory. Not feeling like eating, he decided he might as well check out straight away and grab a cup of coffee on the way.

He was leaving Cincinnati and driving back home towards his family, his job, his life. He should feel relieved but instead he could feel the knot in his stomach tighten and the pain in his chest increasing the closer he got to Columbus. He had to stop off twice, _just_ to get a cup of coffee, as he tried to convince himself, but really it was more to delay the inevitable. He was convinced people would see right through him now that he had let himself get carried away like that, that they would see him for the fraud he was.

He was afraid.

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Kurt woke up to clattering in the kitchen and the smell of freshly brewed coffee wafting into the room. He opened his eyes and closed them just as fast. His head hurt, oh yeah..., he remembered he had way too much to drink and oh…,'Dave', he groaned out at the memory of what happened last night, what almost could have happened. And he felt bad for Dave. That look of desire mixed with defeat and panic, Kurt didn't think he could forget that any time soon. He still felt the shame about the way he behaved, how he allowed his anger to let him get carried away and instead of listening to Dave, which actually might have been helpful, he had been this total jackass. What was it about Dave that managed to get under his skin like that, he wondered while at the same time hoping that Dave was ok. And then there still was the lingering question on why he had almost willingly cheated on Alan. He had been drunk before in his life but never was he that careless to risk cheating on someone. He told himself he couldn't keep on worrying about this though, as just outside Alan was making breakfast and he had to try and fix things after yesterday's row.

He climbed out of bed and realised that he had slept in just his underwear and he still smelled of alcohol. He really needed a shower immediately. He made his way out of the guestroom towards the kitchen. He knew that if he wouldn't go in first to say hello, this would just end up getting worse. "Hey" he said as he stood in the doorway. Alan, who was just taking some eggs out of the fridge, turned around and smiled a tight smile at Kurt. "Hey yourself", Alan's eyes wandered from Kurt's dishevelled hair to his ill looking face and rested on his neck, and he started to frown. "Had a long night, did you?" "Well, sort of," Kurt replied. "I just had to clear my head and I ended up having too much to drink, then came back and didn't want to wake you. So yeah, and I forgot my shower, you know how important my showers are to me," Kurt went for light conversation, they would no doubt bring up their argument soon enough.

Alan still eyed him suspiciously "What?" Kurt huffed out, "have I got something on my face?" Alan ignored the question and instead asked "So that was all? Nothing else to tell me about last night?" Kurt thought for a moment, there was no possible way Alan would know, was there. He tried to look sincere, "No, not really, well I bumped into this old school friend of mine and we had a few drinks but that was it." "That's all?" Alan said, looking almost disappointed. He put the eggs he was still holding in his hands down on the counter, before letting out a deep breath. "Look Kurt, I know we have our issues at the moment but one thing I always thought was that we'd be honest with each other." Kurt stared at Alan, what was he getting at? "If that's all you did, how can you explain that mark on your neck?" Alan finally huffed out. "My neck? What you're talking about. What's with my neck?" But as soon as Kurt said the words a memory of Dave having him pinned against the wall while sucking on his neck came flooding back to him. "Ohmygod" was all Kurt was able to get out. "No, I mean, it's not what it looks like, I mean… it sort of is but it isn't at the same time, really, just let me explain."

Shit, shit, shit! Kurt was trying to think fast. He just got up and his brain was still mushy from last night and not cooperating. He hadn't even had his shower yet and already the morning was getting from bad to worse. Alan just sat down at the kitchen table and looked at Kurt with an unreadable expression on his face. "Just be honest with me Kurt" he said not being able to look up at Kurt. Kurt sat down opposite Alan at the table and was looking at Alan, willing him to look back at him. "Look, nothing happened last night, I mean nothing serious. Yes, I did have too much to drink and this guy, this old friend I ran into, well I don't quite know how it happened", Kurt decided on telling an edited version of the story, not that Alan knew or possibly will ever get to know Dave but still. "We sort of got kissing a bit and then we stopped, and I went home. Honestly that's all it was. And I do feel bad about it, I honestly do. But please believe me, it was nothing more and it didn't mean anything. I am sorry." Kurt let out a breath he had been holding. He really was sorry. "Alan, please look at me", he said.

Alan took in the words as Kurt was saying them. He let out a deep sigh, before looking up at Kurt. "I actually do believe you but…" Kurt could see that Alan was looking for the right words to say. "I don't know; this is all getting more and more messed up lately." Kurt didn't like where this was potentially going. "I know, but just let us talk about it. I mean everything. We haven't done this in a long time." Kurt interjected before Alan could get carried away on his train of thought. There was silence between them for a minute. Eventually Alan spoke again "ok, I guess that would be a good idea", he said looking back up at Kurt. Kurt let out a sigh of relief, "Great. How about I cook us dinner tonight; get some wine and then we can sit down and talk?" Alan replied immediately shaking his head. "No, sorry Kurt, not tonight. You forgot? I have the monthly meeting with Ryan and the guys. They really put a lot of effort into this one and I already told them I would go."

Kurt's eyes were narrowing. Ok, so what he did last night was stupid but what happened before was as much Alan's fault as his and now he thought this silly meeting with his friends for their monthly 'guys night out' was more important than sorting out their relationship? "Fine", he huffed, letting Alan know by the way he said it that it was anything but. Suddenly he didn't want to spend the weekend here with him. He needed time to think and talk to someone about all this. "I think in that case I will be heading up to Lima to visit my folks for the weekend." "Ah, come on Kurt," Alan said, he knew his boyfriend's body language. "Ok, if it is this important to you to do this tonight, I'll cancel", he offered. "No" Kurt said almost forcefully. "Don't want you having to go out of your way..!" Kurt said rather icily. "It shouldn't take me getting upset for you to want to talk and sort this out. Maybe having a day or two to cool of will do us both some good." And with that Kurt left the kitchen and headed for the bathroom. Once Kurt Hummel made up his mind there was nothing you could do to change that. He would have a nice hot shower, do his skincare routine. Put on the best tightest pair of skinny jeans he owned, just because he still had the body to pull it off! Put on his most expensive shirt and waistcoat and would just look and feel fabulous. Then he would head home and just let Carol and Dad pamper him like they always did when he came to visit. It had been way too long anyway, he tried to convince himself, not wanting to acknowledge that in fact he was running home to his daddy like a little child that just had fallen off his bike and needed a good hug.

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><p>AN Let me know if the concept of dividing the chapters in two halfs with focus on their individual situations works. I was looking at a couple of options on how to tell this story from here on and I think this will work best until their storylines intertwine again


	8. Chapter 8

A/N Thanks for any new story alerts and reviews!

I decided to break this chapter into two as it was getting really long and I felt the first half was ready for posting. So this chapter will be just Dave. The next chapter will be more Kurt (and it's almost finished).

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><p>Chapter7<p>

"Daddy's home!" Ruby and Toby obviously had been waiting for him. He hadn't even walked through the front door properly before they ran towards him, launching themselves at him. He dropped his bags, sank to his knees and engulfed each of them with one of his strong arms. He pulled them in for a deep hug. "Hey you guys, guess you missed me", he said. He just held on to them for dear life, the unspeakable fear of losing them creeping up on him. His chest began to ache and tears were forming in his eyes. No, no way was he crying in front of his kids. "Hey, just let me bring my bags upstairs and say hi to your mum," he tried sounding cheerful. Getting up he gave them a little twirl to their delight before letting them go and grabbing his bags to go upstairs to the master bedroom. Not even looking for his wife, he just sank down onto the bed, putting his head in his hands. Get it together man, he told himself under his breath as he tried to calm himself down.

"Hi honey", he heard Heather's voice. She must have come into the room at one point. "What's the matter, you ok", she asked her voice sounding concerned. Dave could feel the bed dip next to him, as his wife sat down, putting a hand on his knee. "Yeah, I'm alright," he lied. "It's just, it was a long night, tough meeting and I have got one of those headaches." He looked up at her and tried to go for his best smile. "Oh, ok. I thought it was weird that you didn't call lat night. It must have been really late for you not to call." She said trying to sound understanding, although Dave could hear the underlying annoyance. She hated it when he didn't call home to say that he was ok. "Yeah, about that, sorry." They just sat there in uncomfortable silence for a minute, until Ruby and Toby came charging in and demanded their attention.

Dave really wanted to focus on his family, after all this was the main reason why he was doing all this, why he wanted to forget again, to be the man they needed him to be, but he just couldn't. It felt all so forced and he just had this big knot in his stomach. The more the day went on and he had to smile and pretend, the more they did the things they always did on a Saturday, the more he just wanted to scream, to just throw something. They had decided to take the kids out for pizza as a special treat and were currently waiting for their food to arrive. How could everyone around him act like nothing is wrong when inside of him his whole world was disintegrating? Worst of all he couldn't get these blue eyes out of his mind, it's like they were haunting him, staring at him accusingly.

"David?" "Mhhh?" Dave looked up confused and realised Heather had been talking to him. "Where are you at today?" she complained. "You know, if you aren't feeling well, you should have just said so. Rather than sit here miserably and giving the impression you rather be anywhere but here." He swallowed the rush of emotions that were hitting him at Heather's words. No, she was wrong, he did want to be here with her and the kids, that was the whole point of this. He tried for a reassuring smile, "I am fine honestly, just tired. And you know I love spending time with you and the kids." He forced himself to engage from there on, laughing at silly jokes his children were making and smiling at the appropriate moments, although the smile never really reached his eyes.

And pretending like this was hard work. By late afternoon he was already worn out and not sure if he could go on like this for the rest of the day. He just needed a break to gather his thoughts and strength, to refocus on this life and on how much it meant to him. To purge any memory of last night and Kurt of his mind. He knew it would probably upset his wife but he just needed to get out for a bit before he would go crazy. "I'm off to the gym for a bit if that's ok with you," he asked his wife who was currently preparing dinner. She looked up at him with a raised eyebrow "what, now? But it's already getting late, you really have to go?" "Yeah, I didn't really get a chance during the week and you know I get restless when I go without exercise for too long, and I promise I'll be back in time for dinner." He looked at her almost pleadingly. She huffed a bit but agreed as long as he would be back in time for dinner. He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and left.

He had been on the treadmill the best part of 30 minutes and still his mind wouldn't let him rest, wouldn't let him let go of the memories of last night. Of the implications of it, that if he even admitted that there was some truth in what happened, his whole life up until now wold have been nothing but a big fat lie and he had in fact nothing to show for. He remembered a sermon at his church a few weeks ago, about being authentic, being yourself. At the time he was frantically nodding in agreement, after all if you're not comfortable with who you are and don't allow people to see the real you how you're supposed to be there for them, to be authentic with them in their needs? Now, it just seems hollow. He let out a snort as his feet were pounding the treadmill, sweat pouring down his back and his heart racing. What did it even mean, being authentic? What if everyone liked the fake better than the real thing? And in the end, did he even know himself who he really was? Did he ever allow himself just to be, to actually explore Dave Karofsky honestly from the inside out rather than from the outside in with the point of how other people would perceive him. 'And anyway, if you're not happy with what you might discover, why can't you try and be someone else, someone better?' he asked himself. He ignored the small voice in the back of his head that tried objecting, 'because it makes you unhappy, it makes you ill, it won't allow you to be all you were designed to be and holding all these pieces together takes up so much energy which could be used so much more effectively somewhere else, because your family deserves better than a fake and a coward, your wife deserves someone who can love her in a way that you're not able to.'

The exercise eventually had the desired effect and by the time he drove home, his whole body was hurting, but he welcomed it, it was taking away from the pain in his heart, while his body was hurting he didn't need to focus on anything else. He just made it home in time for dinner. He tried, he really tried to be part of the dinner conversations; he just couldn't force himself to stay with any conversation for long. His wife was getting slightly annoyed, he could see it in her body language, but of course she was too sweet to say something outright. Dave's thoughts were back with a vengeance and just going round in a loop. He was sure he was starting to get paranoid. He just couldn't help himself thinking about how people would react if they'd knew about last night; about him being g... Hold on! Was he really just thinking that? Oh god, his heart was starting to race again and he felt sick. He had to excuse himself and just run for the bathroom to empty himself of the contents of his stomach for the second time in 24 hours.

He had been sitting on his bed for a while just staring into space when he heard Heather come in. "Dave, what's wrong with you? You've been off all day. Did anything happen while you were away?" She asked him with a slight worry to her voice. He just shook his head, swallowing down the emotions that were coming up so close to the surface now. "Dave, look at me", Heather asked him. He turned at looked at her with tired eyes. "Really honey, everything is fine. I think I'm just coming down with something," he tried to comfort her, hoping he was able to pull off a tired but honest face. "Ok if you say so, but Dave if there is something wrong you need to tell me. I can't understand or help you if you're not sharing what's going on inside of you." She placed a hand on his knee and was rubbing it for comfort. He knew she was probably worried that he would slip into one of his bouts of depression again. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it tight, as some sign of comfort. "No, really, I probably just need a good night's sleep" he tried reassuring her. He really didn't deserve someone like her. How she always supported him no matter what. He could feel tears forming in his eyes. Quickly looking away he said, "I'm going to have a shower". She just nodded and got up to bring the children to bed. When she came back in, Dave was already in bed, pretending to be asleep, but really his mind was racing at 100 miles an hour.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 8

"KURT!" Carol called out excited, pulling him into a big hug. "What a nice surprise, why didn't you tell us you were coming? Hey, Burt, look whose here". Kurt couldn't help but sink into the hug and smiling to himself. Yes, he needed that, coming home and just feeling loved like he was the most important person in the world. "Hey buddy," Burt was walking down the stairs engulfing Kurt in one of his big hugs. "Hi dad, I just thought I would surprise you and show up for the weekend, it's been a while." Kurt said trying to sound cheerful. Burt just raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. He knew his son and knew that now was not the time to question him if there was something more to his surprise visit. He smiled at his dad. He was starting to look his age but thanks to Carol's good care, his health had been relatively stable over the years. "Just get yourself comfortable in your old room and then we can catch up" Carol said. His old room was in fact now the guest room, but he still had so many memories attached to this room. He sat down on the bed and let out an almost contented sigh. 'Yes, definitely a good idea to head home', he thought to himself.

They spent most of the afternoon just catching up. Kurt tried to keep the conversation light and told them about his work at school and how he loved bringing out the best in his kids, and about the last play he did with the local theatre group. Of course his dad had to bring up Alan, and was asking how things were going and why Alan didn't tag along, as it's been way too long since they last saw him. Kurt tried not to let the tenseness show on his face but knew his father could probably see it. He said things were fine and that the reason he was here this weekend was because Alan was on one of those 'guys' night's out and he jut didn't fancy being home alone. His dad let it rest for now and Kurt was grateful for that.

Kurt insisted on cooking dinner for them to Carol's mock outrage, as he apparently was the guest, but she knew better than to argue with Kurt over it. She knew Kurt loved cooking. Kurt enjoyed just doing something mundane like planning what to cook and going to the supermarket to buy the ingredients and just driving round Lima a bit, reminiscing but also being glad that he actually managed to escape this place. Carol helped lay the table and she _complained_ that if he would have let them know beforehand they could have tried to get Finn and Rachel to come too. It's been way to long since they all were at the house having dinner together.

It was later, when they were sitting on the couch in the living room with a glass of wine, that his dad brought the subject up again. Carol had _conveniently_ left the room; Kurt thought he noticed their silent communication earlier that his dad wanted some alone time with him. "So Kurt, I can see something is up, I mean, I've been around you for the best part of 30 years, and I know that you like to bottle things up but what is the real reason for your surprise visit?" Kurt looked over to where his dad was sitting, "am I really that easy to read?" he chuckled softly. Burt just laughed at that, "Well, you are to me, after all you're my son." Kurt took a sip of his white wine and tried to unscramble the thoughts in his mind, not really knowing where to begin. There was so much going around in his head.

"I don't really know dad. It's just like Alan and me…" What exactly did he want to say? 'They're not on the same page anymore, they've grown apart, he is not sure he is still in love with him? He kissed Dave last night and can't stop thinking about him; that despite the messed up situation that last night was, somehow Dave had managed to get under his skin in a way no one else had managed in a long time, if ever, and he has no idea why or what it meant or that he even wanted to admit that it could mean something. That he so desperately wanted things to work with Alan but now just feels empty?' He took another sip and looked everywhere but his dad, who to his great relief was just sitting there, waiting patiently. "Dad, how do you know that someone's the one? I mean, I know I must have asked you this before but how did you and mum know, and now you and Carol? He was looking at his dad with an expectation in his eyes, like his dad could somehow make sense of this all for him.

Burt let out a small sigh bundled with a gentle smile towards Kurt. "Oh, asking the easy questions tonight?" Burt said with a little chuckle. "Look, I don't really know if I've got the answer to that but if you want my 2 cents worth anyway… I don't really know if there is just the one for you out there but I definitely believe that there are some people who have a special connection, that there is just a pull between them and when you meet someone like that you can try and ignore and run from it, but it will always stay with you. And I believe you would feel that pretty much straight away". Burt smiled more to himself now that to Kurt. "Now as for me and your mum, you must remember me telling you on numerous occasions that she didn't actually like me when we first met. She thought I was loud and obnoxious. I just thought she was perfect. But as she told me later, even in those early days, she felt something more for me even though she tried hard not to. She had this image in her mind of what her perfect guy would be like and I obviously didn't fit the picture. But somehow she felt drawn to me at the same time and eventually gave me a chance, the rest is history."

He looked at Kurt with a warm expression, "I guess that what I am trying to say is that there just was this something that made us gravitate towards one another, I don't really know what to call it. She just affected me from the moment I laid eyes on her. And now with Carol it was pretty much the same. The first time you introduced us I just felt it. Sometimes it doesn't make sense and it can happen with the person you least likely expect it to and sometimes it doesn't lead to anything but when you feel it you at least have to try", he looked wistful now, taking a sip of his wine.

"Now Kurt, why do you ask? I am going out on a whim here but are you questioning whether you and Alan are right for one another?" Kurt just sighed; his eyes had gotten moist already. "I just don't know anymore dad." he said almost choking on the words. "I really wanted it to be, but even without what happened last night I was not happy lately and I am not sure he is. I know relationships aren't always just perfect and happy but there is just something very off and… I mean, even if you're getting used to one another, shouldn't there still be passion and love between you?" He gazed into his glass of wine as though it would hold an answer to all his questions. He didn't even notice Burt's raised eyebrow at the mention of 'what happened last night'.

Burt coughed, trying to get Kurt's attention again. He hated seeing his son this conflicted and he really was worried now about what did happened last night and he was torn between just outright asking or giving Kurt the time to confide in him in his own time. It was obviously something that was weighing heavily on his mind. Thankfully Kurt continued before he had a chance to ask. "It's just…" he sighed, how was he going to say this? "Me and Alan just pretty much live our own lives and when we do get together it more often than not ends up in arguments. And I know I can be hard to get on with but these are just petty things we argue about and there just seems to be no love left in our relationship and too be honest…," Kurt had to gulp, fighting away the stray tear that was forming in his eye. "I don't think I ever felt that thing you described, that gravity, with him." He sighed again, "Do you think I expect too much?" he asked his dad.

Burt took a moment to ponder his son's question over in his head. He knew Kurt and that he can be a bit high maintenance and has sometimes too high standards on him and on others but on the other hand despite that, if Alan was the right one, they should be able to work through these things. "I really don't think I can answer that question for you, Kurt." He said honestly. "All I see is that you're miserable and my only advice at this point would be that you and Alan need to sit down and talk this out, properly and honestly, take stock of where you are now, and without fear of what ifs, just be honest about what you each want. Now the result of that might be that you break up but if not then at least you both agree that it's something worth fighting for."

Kurt listened to his dad. Everything he said made so much sense. Of course, he knew for a while that they really just needed to sit down and talk this through but he was scared exactly of the fact that they might well decide to end it and he didn't want to be 30 and alone, but he slowly came to the realisation that in fact he was pretty much living his own life anyway. Somehow in a weird way what happened last night was only a catalyst for him to finally face the facts. He chuckled to himself. Who would have thought? Something to thank Dave for... AND… there he was again, in his mind, the hazel eyes looking at him with so much longing a passion for a minute before they broke apart from their kissing and realisation and panic replaced that look. Kurt sighed, 'let's deal with one thing at a time,' he was telling himself. Yawning, he realised that he was actually really tired. Kurt walked over to his dad. "Thanks dad, you're advice really helped", Kurt gave his dad a big hug. "I think I'll be off to bed now, I didn't get enough sleep last night. I see you in the morning" And with that Kurt excused himself and made his way to his room, saying goodnight to Carol on the way, leaving a bemused Burt behind. Kurt mentioned about last night again, and Burt was again wondering what could possibly have happened last night to bring all of this on.

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><p>AN Nothing much really, I hope you're still enjoying this and as always reviews and constructive criticism are warmly welcomed. More to come soon.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N Apologies, I wanted to update sooner but a nasty cold kept me away from the computer for a few days. I hope you still enjoy the story (Let me know if you do)!

Also, any mistakes are mine as I do not have a beta, and I still don't own Glee

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><p>I reuploaded this chapter with more paragraph breaks. Thanks Pratitioning for your feedback. I hope it's easier to read now :)<p>

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><p>Chapter 9<p>

Dave was lying sprawled out on the bed, pulling the warm soft body on top of his closer. He let his hands wander up and down the back, feeling the wonderful soft skin before finally resting his hands in the brown hair and gently pulling to close the distance between them. He placed a gentle kiss on the other man's lips, just teasing really, before pulling away again to look up into those beautiful blue eyes. He let out a contented moan before diving back in for another kiss. This one was more passionate and he placed his tongue teasingly against Kurt's lips asking for entrance. Kurt parted his lips just enough for Dave's tongue to slip in and starting to explore his mouth eagerly. He could feel Kurt starting to kiss back just as hungrily and teasing Dave's tongue with his own. Kurt's hand were exploring his upper body, stroking his biceps and then moving on to his chest, where he played and tugged at Dave's chest hair before he went on to tweak one of his nipples. At the sensation Dave involuntarily bucked his hips and groaned which earned him a mischievous smile from Kurt. "You're so sexy" Kurt's husky voice was hardly audible but it still drove Dave crazy.

Kurt pinned Dave's arms down either side of him as he shifted position and straddled him. Dave knew he could break the hold at any time but he enjoyed Kurt being in control. He could feel Kurt's erection pressing against his own as Kurt slowly moved his hips to create some friction. He couldn't help but to let out a needy growl. He lifted his head to smile at Kurt who smiled back in return before attaching his lips to Dave's neck and sucking hard. Dave whimpered, which edged Kurt on to suck harder. He then went on to place light bites along his neck and collarbone before moving down his upper torso, licking and biting at his chest and nipples and then slowly moving downwards towards his stomach. He stopped for a minute to focus on Dave's belly button, placing little kisses around it before looking up at Dave with hungry eyes, silently asking Dave for permission of what he was about to do. Dave thought this was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen, he just nodded, his pulse already quickening and his breathing getting heavy.

He let his head fell back and closed his eyes. "Oh fuck, that feels amazing", he whimpered out as he felt Kurt's tongue teasing the head of his erection before slowly putting the head into his mouth and starting to gently suck on it. "So good..., I don't think... I'll last long", Dave let out between hard uneven breaths, trying hard to focus on not coming straight away from the sheer sensation of Kurt's mouth around his dick. Kurt hummed as he worked Dave deeper inside of him and started to suck and bob his head up and down in a slow steady pace. He placed one of his hands on Dave's balls and started massaging them in time with his sucking. Dave felt overwhelmed by the sensation and started to buck his hips and thrusted into Kurt's mouth as he was sucking and bobbing up and down faster now; Dave's hands buried themselves in Kurt's hair. "So close" Dave could feel the familiar sensation building up in his stomach, the muscles tightening and his toes curling. "Oh god, I'm going to come…. Oh Kuuurt!" he shouted out as he came.

Dave opened his eyes. He was panting and sweaty. He needed a second to actually realise where he was. Oh god, did he really just have a dream about… He could feel the stickiness in his boxers and groaned in embarrassment. He couldn't believe he just had a wet dream like some 15 year old teenager. And worst of all did he actually shout out that name or was that just in his dream? He quickly glanced over at his wife, who seemed to be fast asleep. He let out a sigh of relief, obviously he had not been shouting, his wife had a fairly light sleep and would no doubt have woken up. He just lay there for a minute as he let realisation hit him.

It has been almost a week and while he could kid himself that everything was ok during the daytime with work taking up a lot of his attention, the evening and nights seemed to have developed a life of their own. The lack of sleep slowly making itself known and showing on his face; his wife and his boss both commented on how tired he looked and were continuously enquiring as to whether he was ok. He was so tired of the 'yeah, I'm fine, just a cold…' or other lame excuses he had to make, and the silently accusing yet worried look his wife gave him in return. He had been distant this last week, he knew, but he just didn't know how to be around her at the moment without falling to pieces; being seen to be happy was hard work when you were anything but and he knew he didn't pull it off as much as he wanted to.

The truth was that it was only at night, when he didn't need to pretend, he allowed himself to think, to worry, to try and digest what seems more and more like the inevitable truth. The fact that during those couple of minutes with Kurt, before he bolted, he felt so free, so light and, when he really thought about it and allowed himself to be honest with himself, he felt like himself, Kurt was right about that much when he tempted him to just let go, but he still was nowhere near accepting that this would have to be his inevitable path. Why couldn't he just forget? He was sure if he would just be able to forget he could be happy with his life again, at least happy enough and he wouldn't have to worry about the possibility of putting his family and his friends through this. Tears were starting to form at the corners of his eyes. He tried to swallow them down.

He had way too many situations like this last week. Moments were he almost burst into tears for no apparent reason, when the pressure and the pain was just hovering too close to the surface for him to control and were demanding to be let out. He even went to see his counsellor but of course wasn't brave enough to tell him what was really going on. He just tried blaming it on stress and managed to get the doctor to prescribe him some more antidepressants. 'They just fucking need to start doing what they were supposed to do', he thought, anger starting to build up inside of him. What if even those pills won't help him anymore, what has he got left other than to admit defeat?

He started to feel uncomfortable in his boxers, so he decided to get up and clean himself up. There was no way he could get away with having a shower in the middle of the night so a wash would have to do. Quietly grabbing some clean underwear and pyjamas out of the drawer, he trudged into the bathroom turning on the light and taking off his pyjamas and boxers. He gave the boxers a quick soak before wringing them out as best he could and putting them in the laundry basket together with the pyjamas. He went to the basin and grabbed a towel and washed himself off as best as possible and then splashed some water on his face. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. A tired looking guy looking back at him; he looked as bad as he felt. He actually had lost weight; he could see it in his face. He just wasn't able to eat much. 'What are you going to do?' he asked his reflection, which was staring back at him with a blank expression. Taking a towel he patted his face dry and put on his new boxers and pyjamas and put the used towels in the laundry basket.

There was no way he was going to be able to go back to sleep and he didn't want to risk waking up Heather with his tossing and turning, so he decided to go into his study like he had so many times during the last couple of nights. He sat down at the table staring at the files he brought home with him; maybe he should try and catch up on some work. That would surely distract him. His tablet was lying next to them on the table. Maybe I just check my emails first he thought picking up his tablet and turning it on. He just stared blankly at it as the screen came to life. His mind wandering back to the dream and how real it felt. Obviously just trying to ignore whatever was happening to him didn't work, he realised at that moment. But could he actually accept this and if he did would that make him a bad person, or would it be ok as long a he didn't act on it? Maybe accepting it might help him to make sense and work this out and be able to stay with his wife and be the best husband he could be. He felt uncomfortable thinking about this. He thought about his wife sleeping peacefully, blissfully unaware of what was going on inside of him. Would she even want to stay if she knew even if he tried to stay with her or would she just think he was gross, sick even and pack up the kids and run a mile?

Before he really could think about what he was doing he opened up the browser of his tablet and typed in the word 'homosexuality', he couldn't quite get himself to type 'gay' as though that would make it more personal. The first link was some encyclopaedic definition of the word. Yeah, as though he didn't know what it meant, he huffed annoyed. He kept on looking at the results and of course it wasn't long before he came across the ones that tell you that being gay is wrong, is a choice and can be cured and the ones that told you that you were born this way and just had to accept yourself. Great, he sighed, so basically no help at all, he wanted to just throw the tablet against the wall. Why the fuck would anyone chose this, he thought to himself. But if he didn't choose this, didn't that mean that he was in fact born this way? And what if he chose not to be? Surely he must be able to have a say in this? He let out a frustrated groan and massaged his temples with his thumbs, as his head started to hurt. Not for the first time in his life did he feel completely powerless and out of control. Did he really have no choice? Is that what his whole life had led up to?

He was slowly coming to the point of accepting that he needed to sort this question out in his head before being able to deal with it, the one he had always tried to avoid , of whether this was in fact something that was treatable as some people would claim or whether it was just a natural part of some people and needed to be accepted, embraced even, as ignoring it or sitting on the fence about it wasn't an option anymore, but who could he possibly speak to? Who could he trust enough not to judge him, would there be anyone he would really be brave enough to open up to? Well, there was one person he could think of. And of course he would judge him, he already had but on the other hand he knew most of his sorry tale, so at least Dave wouldn't have to go through the agony of telling it all. And the fact that he had no contact with any of the people he knew would be an advantage.

But what good would speaking to Kurt do? He made it quite clear that he was disgusted with the way Dave chose to live his life and why would he even care to hear his side of the story? And what sort of advice would Kurt give? Dave had a pretty good idea what it would be, he thought. The whole idea seemed so absurd; there was no way Kurt would even want to speak with him and why should he? He had his own life and didn't deserve being dragged into this. But in some weird way Dave felt that Kurt was already part of this messed up situation, maybe always had been, even if this didn't make sense at all. But if he was honest with himself it had always been Kurt who was able to get right in there, into that secret place, and that was a scary thought and probably should be more than enough reason to stay the hell away from him. But being realistic about the storm of emotions that was building up inside him, Dave knew that he needed to talk to someone.

Leaning back into his chair, he closed his eyes and yawned; his thoughts still lingering on the idea. It's not as though he didn't know how to contact him. He fought the urge to get his contact information for three days before he caved in. It took his assistant less than 10 minutes to get the contact numbers of a certain Kurt Hummel in Cincinnati, obviously working for a lawyer, getting that sort of information is like a routine operation, and now said information was on a piece of paper hidden away in his top drawer at work like some toxic waste. He rubbed his eyes, his body giving away how tired he really was but his thoughts not allowing him to rest. He knew he desperately needed to try to get in a few more hours of sleep, if just his brain would shut up already.

But just sitting here, staring at his tablet with all the useless information would not make the slightest difference now. He closed it down, and made his way back upstairs, stopped outside the rooms of Ruby and Toby, peaked in through the slightly ajar doors and watched them for a minute. A slight smile ghosted across his face. They looked so peaceful when they slept and Dave could again feel the pang in his chest, the fear of losing them or causing them pain. With a sigh he finally made his way back into the bedroom and careful not to wake Heather, he gently climbed in and pulled the covers over his head and hoped for sleep to come. 'Maybe they all would be better off without me', was one of his last thoughts before he eventually fell into an uneasy sleep.

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><p>So, this was the first time I actually wrote anything smutty, I hope it was ok. As always, reviews and constructive criticism are very welcomed.<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N** Sorry this took so long to update. The story was pulling me in different directions and it took me a while to work out the best way forward. The characters just didn't want to do what I wanted them to. Now that I worked this out, I know where I am taking the story. Thanks for the new story alerts!

**Warnings:** found at the bottom, if you have any triggeres, please read first

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><p>Chapter 10<p>

Kurt had spent the rest of that weekend at his dad's and Carol's place. He would forever love his dad for the way he just gently nudged him for information and listened patiently for anything Kurt was willing to share. Kurt knew by the way his dad phrased some of his questions that he would have liked to know what happend that Friday night, but he never pushed him for it, and Kurt really didn't want to share this particular bit of information. It was in part because of his dad's not very good history regarding Dave but also because Kurt really was not proud of what he did that night, alcohol or no alcohol, he should have handled that situation a lot better.

As his dad suggested, when Kurt came back Sunday night, he had finally sat Alan down and they talked it all out. All their frustrations, hopes and dreams and what they wanted from life and, most painfully, about their feelings for one another. Kurt reassured Alan again that he had not cheated on him and that the kiss just happened but wanting to been totally honest, he also told him that it had put the question into his mind of where they were heading.

Kurt was currently sitting on the sofa, holding a glass of wine in his hand and just staring at the assortment of boxes before him. He let the fact wash over him that this place, his home for the last two years would soon be nothing more than a memory.

Kurt sighed, taking a sip of his wine as he recalled the events of the past week. During their talk it had become pretty evident that while they still cared for one another, there was actually not a lot that was holding them together, not a lot they still shared in terms of their dreams and ambitions and that the love between them had somehow dwindled.

While it was painful to admit at the time, they both agreed to think about for a few days whether they wanted to pull together to make this work or whether they should move on with their lives. It was actually the most they had talked in months. It was like both of them were hiding this big burden but were afraid to share it with one another and finally it all came spilling out.

The break-up conversation came on Wednesday evening, when Alan had taken him out for dinner (funny enough the first time in months he had done so) and they had a fairly civil conversation, focussing on the practical terms of their break-up and both agreeing that after some time of healing they would like to try and stay friends. Alan offered to stay at a friend's for the near future until they sorted out their living arrangements and Kurt accepted. So that night after dinner, they went home together and Alan packed a suitcase and they said their goodbyes.

Even though Kurt knew it was the right decision, he still cried himself to sleep that night. Five years leave a mark on your life, a part you have given to another person and they have given a part of themselves to you and it still hurt when it was taken away.

The second night had been a bit easier. He had video called Mercedes, his trusted friend through all those years, and was glad just to be able to let it all out. She offered for him to come and visit her the next weekend and get pampered by her, to which he gladly agreed. He left out the bit about meeting Dave and that what had happened had been the catalyst for him to finally face the facts of the state of his relationship. There was no point bringing up this particular issue, especially as it would have inevitably led to him having to tell her what actually really went down between them back in high school, something that was until this day only between him and Dave.

Tonight it had been a week since the break-up and as much as he didn't mind the quiet, he still had a long way getting used to actually being on his own physically. Daytime with work and all was fine but coming home to an empty flat still proved difficult.

He got off of the sofa and continued putting things away in different boxes. There was no point putting these things off plus they kept him occupied on those long evenings.

They both needed a new place to stay; they had three months left on their current lease, so that gave them some time. Kurt didn't feel comfortable that Alan was paying half the rent but was not staying at the place anymore. The current school term was ending in a month and he offered to move out and stay with his parents over the holidays while he was looking for a new flat, so that Alan could move back in.

He hadn't quite considered how realistic having to drive up and down between the two cities while looking for a place to stay would be. He actually didn't want to think about this at the moment. Going home felt like the safe option. A place where he was loved; where he could regroup and start planning the next phase of his life. He was even considering moving somewhere different altogether. Yes, he loved his job and he was quite well known in the local theatre arena, which always helped getting parts but maybe starting over would be what he needed.

Maybe it was time to recapture some of those dreams. He always wanted to open his own restaurant, ideally with a little stage for performers, but dreams were dreams and bills needed paying and being a teacher was rewarding in so many different ways.

Kurt could hear his phone ring. He thought it was a bit late for someone to call him and when he picked up his phone he saw that it was not a video call but just a normal call from an unrecognised number. So it definitely not any of his friends. He thought for a second to just let it go through to his voicemail but curiosity won, so he accepted the call.

"Hello?" Kurt said.

"…"

"Hello?"

"… Oh, god! So sorry! This was not a good idea". Click

"Dave?..."

Kurt stared at the phone. Call ended. Kurt was almost certain that that was Dave's voice. If he had time to worry about it, it would seem funny that he was able to so readily recognise his voice. Why would he call him? And then just hang up on him? Before he had any chance do digest this, he had already hit the redial button. It rang but Dave wasn't picking up. When the call connected through to his voicemail, Kurt hung up, only to redial immediately. This time he could hear the click as the call connected.

"Dave? Hello?"

"…"

Kurt could hear some labored breathing and something that sounded like sniffling.

"Dave? Are you ok?"

"…."

"Dave you're kind of freaking me out here, and I'm going to hang up now unless you say something"

"Kurt…" Dave rasped out between sobs. "I'm so sorry, I don't know why I called you… it's not as though you… and you… it's just, … I don't know what to do anymore, there is no one I can talk to and you…"

Kurt could hear him starting to full on cry now. What could have possibly happened? He didn't even have time to worry about how on earth Dave got his number. Instead he immediately went into caring mode.

"Dave, please talk to me, what is going on? Did something happen? … Please talk to me?"

More sobs… "I just… I just can't do this anymore… Ever since… I thought I could just go back and … but it's just eating me alive… and there is no one…" Dave had to work hard to get out any words.

"Dave, where are you? You need to calm down, please. Try and take some deep breaths, please" Kurt was pleading with him. He could hear Dave taking some well needed deep breaths and could hear the crying turning into intermittent sobs.

"Good, that's better. Keep breathing… where are you? Are you somewhere safe?

"Yes… I'm in a hotel room" Dave said still trying to get his breathing under control.

"Hotel room? Why aren't you at home?"

"… I had to see this client… in fact… the hotel is in Cincinnati…" Dave managed to get out between sniffs.

"What? You're in Cincinnati?" Kurt asked totally taken by surprise.

Dave had gone back to sobbing. "Dave, keep breathing, slowly in and out". Kurt said in a soothing voice. Everything was just turning into a blur around him.

"Good, that's better …."

Kurt listened to Dave slowly calming down and his breathing getting more regular.

"Kurt… Oh, gosh, I am so sorry, I can understand if you don't want to talk to me and that is alright." Dave was slowly gaining back some sort of control.

"Dave, you obviously called me for a reason, and believe me I would have not called you back if I didn't want to talk to you, so please." Kurt was trying to take in the situation that presented itself before him. He had Dave on the phone to him, sobbing and obviously distressed and realistically, there was no way he could just hang up on him. Maybe deep down he felt somewhat responsible for whatever might have happened, he wasn't sure but unless he got Dave to talk, he would not be able to find out.

"Dave? It's ok, just tell me what's going on. I'm going to listen"

"… ok. … I mean I don't even know where to begin. It's just… "Dave could feel himself hesitating. Was he really going to say this? Could he say this? He needed a few more breaths.

"I don't know what to think anymore. Nothing seems to make sense and I am going crazy trying to figure this out in my head. There is no one I know who would understand. I don't sleep, I don't eat, I've started taking pills and still the pain does not go away…Gosh Kurt, I can't even look at her at the moment…, it's not her fault and the kids…, I don't want to lose them."

At that point he started crying again.

"And then earlier" Dave had trouble talking through the tears. "I had the bottle of pills in my hand… and I thought maybe if I just take them all..., and end this, everyone would be better off without me…"

"WAIT! What!" Kurt yelled down the phone in a panic. "Dave, tell me you didn't take anything, please."

"No, Kurt, I couldn't, you see… I'm apparently too much of a coward to even do that."

"Dave, that's it, I'm coming. Which hotel are you staying at?" Kurt was just acting on instinct now. No way was letting anyone sit in an empty hotel room with a bottle of pills in their hands and contemplating to end their own life.

"Kurt, no, you don't have to, really, I'm ok now, I won't do anything."

"No, I'm coming! Now, you going to tell me which hotel you're staying at or do I need to call every darn hotel in this city to find out?"

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><p><strong>Warnings:<strong> mention of suicidal thoughts

Please let me know what you think, this is a lot harder to write than I anticipated but I still feel it's a story I want to tell.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** I probably should apologise for the cliffhanger LOL but it just seemed like a good place to stop (and have you wonder what's going to happen next!) Thanks for all the lovely reviews and new story alerts. This story is very dear to me so it's encouraging to see people are reading it.

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><p>The Road Less Travelled<p>

Chapter 11

Kurt was standing on the pavement outside his flat. He was in his sweatpants and t-shirt, having quickly put on some trainers and a coat; he had grabbed his wallet, keys and had headed out.

Dave was still at the other end of the phone. Kurt had told him to keep talking, despite Dave's continued assurances that he was fine now and would not do anything to harm himself.

Kurt normally didn't believe in taking taxi's when there was an adequate public transport system to take advantage off or the good old fashioned method of walking to use, but these were exceptional circumstances. He had told Dave to hold the line while he would quickly call a taxi and was frantically scanning the road for it to make an appearance.

"Seriously, how long can it possibly take?" he huffed more to himself than into the phone. "Dave you're still there aren't you?"

"Yes…" Dave's voice cracked. He had calmed down considerably but all that crying had taken a toll on his voice.

After what seemed like forever the cab finally pulled up and Kurt quickly jumped in giving the driver the address of Dave's hotel and urging him to hurry up. He was sure he heard the guy mumble a 'where's the fire' under his breath.

Dave's hotel would in fact have been within walking distance but Kurt felt, rightly or not, that every minute counted.

The drive hardly took five minutes, and Kurt lost count of the amount of times he had asked Dave whether he was still on the line.

He rushed into the hotel lobby and headed straight for the lift, thankfully the guy at the reception didn't even bother to look up from whatever it was that he was looking at on his phone.

"Dave, it was room 408 wasn't it?" he asked while he continuously pressed the button, as though that could make the lift move any faster. Dave just huffed some sort of confirmation in return and Kurt hoped that that was because he was getting tired rather than because of him actually having taken something.

The lift door opened and Kurt raced down the corridor following the signs for Rooms 400 – 412.

"I'm here," he said into the phone and knocking on the door at the same time.

He heard some shuffling through the phone and then a short while later the click as the door unlocked and opened.

Kurt stared in disbelief at the man before him. Dave was wearing boxer briefs and a vest and under any other circumstances Kurt probably would have marvelled at the sight of such a nice specimen of man. Instead his eyes immediately went up to look into Dave's eyes. They looked tired and bloodshot. His face was haggard and he looked as though he had just run a marathon.

Kurt felt a pang in his heart looking at the broken man in front of him. He moved into the room and closed the door behind him. What could he possibly say that would make the pain he could so clearly see in Dave's face go away? There were no words; he had a feeling that anything that he could say would just sound hollow.

No, words weren't any good but he could show him that he cared, that Dave was not as alone as he thought he was. He closed the distance and placed his arms around Dave's middle, pulling him into a hug as best as he could.

At the contact, Dave immediately let himself be pulled into the hug. He melted into Kurt's touch and in return placed his arms around the smaller man and placed his face on his shoulder. Tears were starting to fall again and soon he was outright sobbing and feeling weak, he was slowly sinking to his knees.

Kurt didn't let go but followed him down and if anything tightened his embrace. He hoped this was what Dave needed, just to be able to let it all out. He placed one of his hands in Dave's hair and stroked it over and over again and telling him that things would be ok.

He had no idea whether that was the truth or not but somehow felt that that was what Dave needed to hear.

Kurt started to rock them from side to side, as Dave's tears kept on falling, his other hand moving up and down Dave's back. "Shhh" he said soothingly.

As he sat there, feeling Dave hold on to him for dear life, Kurt could feel anger rising inside him. At what specifically he couldn't even tell. He was angry at the world, society, people, traditions, doctrines which could convince someone like Dave that it would be better to fight who you are, to look for the perfect prescriptive way one was supposed to live their life.

He had the result of just such thinking wrapped up in his arms, having tried and failed and seemingly having nothing left.

They must have stayed like that on the floor for what seemed like hours.

He had no idea how but he eventually managed to move them over and up onto the bed. Their arms were still wrapped around each other and Kurt had gone back to gently stroking Dave's hair.

Dave had closed his eyes and his breathing started to even out. Kurt was holding him and stroking him and let the occasional "Shh" slip out, although they got quieter the more Dave seemed to calm down.

Finally Dave's body relaxed as he went off to sleep. Kurt didn't dare to move not wanting to risk waking Dave up. One of his arms was trapped under Dave's body and he could feel it go numb but he just chose to ignore it and he eventually managed to drift off to sleep as well.

###

Kurt woke up first. He opened his eyes to be met with the sleeping face of Dave mere inches from his. He could still see the dried tears on his cheek but other than that he looked peaceful.

By the way the light was just lightly illuminating the room Kurt judged that it was still fairly early. He desperately needed the toilet. He managed to detangle himself carefully from Dave and tiptoed into the bathroom. On the way back from the bathroom he quickly grabbed his phone to check the time. It was 6am, which meant that he really needed to head home and get ready to leave for work.

He looked over at the sleeping figure on the bed and made a decision there and then that he did not want Dave to wake up to an empty room. He decided to do something he had never done before, to take a sickday when he was actually anything but. He pulled up the school contact information and left a message saying that he was extremely sorry but he had come down with a bug and could not come in today. The way his voice sounded they would probably believe him.

Just as quietly and carefully as he got off the bed, he went back, lying down on the same spot as before, his face facing Dave's, he was looking at him and wondering whether his world would look brighter today somehow than it had last night, and if in fact there was anything he could do to brighten it.

Kurt had given things a lot of thought while he held Dave last night. He had no idea what he could offer the man in terms of help, his situation was so foreign to Kurt, who never struggled with his identity and it almost felt like they had been round that same mountain together before. But this time Kurt was older and wiser, he finally realised that there was no point to tell someone to be comfortable and just get on with it, life was more complex than that.

The deeper issues of why Dave felt like he did needed addressing and also the fact that he was scared for good reason. There was no telling how his wife would react if or when she found out the truth. In the end after his thoughts had been going round and round in a loop, he had come to the conclusion that maybe all Dave did in fact need was someone to listen, to smile at him, a shoulder to cry on and a place where he could drop the mask until he had it all figured out.

Kurt had decided last night that he would try and be that person. Dave had come to him for help and that must have not been easy for him to do.

Kurt smiled to himself as he looked at the still sleeping figure curled up so close to him and couldn't help but let his hand ghost over Dave's cheek to swipe at those dried tears. He could feel Dave stir at the touch and quickly removed his hand.

Dave let out a moan and stirred again. He opened his eyes and before he even knew where he was he was met with a pair of beautiful blue eyes looking right back at him. The same eyes that used to haunt him in his dreams, now looking at him with nothing but warmth in them.

Kurt felt a smile creep over his face. "Hey" he said in an almost whisper.

"Hey" Dave whispered in reply, not moving his gaze away and a small smile ghosting across his lips in return. It slowly all came back to him. The way he had cried and Kurt had held him and comforted him until he fell asleep and how good it felt to have someone there, no questions asked, no mask to uphold.

"Thanks" he murmured. It was such a simple word. Hardly enough to convey everything that he was feeling at the moment, but somehow Kurt seemed to understand.

Kurt smiled in return. Their faces were so close their noses were almost touching. Kurt thought this must be the first time he actually noticed how beautiful Dave's eyes were. Brown but not quite brown, a bit of green dotted around in between.

They kept looking at each other. They both could feel their respective body heat intermingle. The peace and quiet was the opposite of the cries and tears but a few hours ago.

Without much thought Kurt again brushed his fingers over the dried tears on Dave's face. Dave didn't flinch away but instead leaned into the touch, his eyes not leaving Kurt's.

Kurt placed a gentle kiss on Dave's forehead. The gesture was meant to be one of comfort but before he knew it he leaned in again and kissed Dave's cheeks, where the trail of the tears was still visible.

Again Dave didn't pull away, if anything Dave moved his face closer to Kurt's. His eyes were closing and his breathing was picking up.

Kurt kept on placing little kisses all along Dave's cheeks and jaw before the last one found Dave's lips in a gentle kiss.

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><p><strong>AN 2:** This chapter was mainly Kurt's POV, for the simple reason that I believe that the state Dave was in, he wouldn't really be thinking much at all, he just needed to get out his emotions.

Oh, and sorry for another cliffhanger but I had to cut somewhere or this would have turned into a monster of a chapter. I will be going on holiday soon, and although I will bring my laptop with me, please forgive me if it takes a bit longer to update! And as always I love to hear what you thought of the chapter.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** I apologise profoundly for taking so long to update this. On top of being away on holiday I suffered from an extensive writer's block with regards to this story and all the canon happenings to poor Dave didn't exactly help matters.

But alas, finally I give you the next chapter. I hope people haven't forgotten about this story yet!

And, I think this is a good time to remind you that this story is rated **M** for a reason (read: smut). Ok, so mainly 2/3 of the chapter is smut, I totally blame the guys for this… it was not quite what I had originally planned for this chapter. If that's not your thing, skip to the end (after the ###), if it is enjoy ;)

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><p>Chapter 12<p>

'What am I doing?' was the thought that immediately raced through Kurt's head, while his lips were still on Dave's. 'This is probably the last thing Dave needs' he mentally scolded himself but then suddenly he felt Dave timidly kissing him back, moving his lips gently against Kurt's and Kurt didn't want to pull away anymore. He let himself sink into the kiss and felt Dave do the same.

This kiss was nothing like the last kiss they shared. It was gentle and almost loving, lips brushing against each other and hands being put gently on the other one's head stroking each other's hair.

They both pulled away after a few minutes, panting and chests heaving. They looked deep into each other's eyes as if searching for answers as to what had just happened. There was no drunken recklessness or suppressed anger to blame for the kiss. They both were very much aware of what was going on and something had just shifted between them.

The way Dave was looking at him made Kurt's stomach flutter. There were so many emotions in that look, the most prominent one being desire and Kurt would be lying if he could ever remember anyone looking at him quite like that, like he was the most precious thing in the world. Only he could remember Dave looking at him like that before and it made his stomach churn even more.

They were shyly smiling at one another, their faces still being so close that they could feel the breath on each other's skin. Dave gently brushed his thumb over Kurt's jaw and started stroking it.

Kurt swallowed and leaned into the touch before pressing his lips again against Dave's and massaging his lips with his own. Dave closed his eyes and kissed back and when he suddenly felt Kurt's tongue teasing against his lips, he opened his mouth slightly to allow Kurt's tongue entry.

Dave moaned into the kiss. His head was spinning. He just wanted to taste more of Kurt, to feel him closer to lose himself in Kurt. His tongue teased Kurt's who let out a low moan as their tongues finally connected.

They stayed like that for what felt like forever, kissing, tongues fighting for dominance and hands tangled in each other's hair. Kurt wanted more, needed more and his brain was quickly shutting down as his emotions, his desire to be loved was taking over.

Dave as well let himself get lost in his desires. For the first time ever, he allowed himself to let these desires surface without anger or disdain, acknowledging them and acting on them. He was hesitant to touch Kurt, to feel his skin under his hands, he feared if he would, that he would fall apart right there and then.

Kurt was sure he could feel Dave hesitating. He broke the kiss and looked into Dave's eyes. He didn't want to do anything that would make Dave feel uncomfortable. Maybe he already pushed him too far but when he looked into Dave's eyes, he didn't see any fear or regret just lust and maybe hope? He smiled at Dave and spoke gently "You can touch me if you want."

Kurt could see Dave gulp but not taking his gaze off him. This look alone drove Kurt absolutely crazy; he had to take a deep breath to steady himself.

"You can touch me if you want", the words hardly registered with Dave he was so caught up in Kurt's eyes. They were possibly the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen, he suddenly knew that he desperately wanted to touch Kurt, to feel Kurt and Kurt had just told him that it was ok.

Dave moved one of his hands down Kurt's back and reached under Kurt's shirt hitching it up slightly and touching Kurt's skin. He could feel Kurt shudder at the touch as Kurt's eyes fluttered close and his head fell back.

Dave let his hand wander up and down the bare skin on Kurt's back, while placing his lips on Kurt's again. He could feel Kurt's breathing speeding up as Kurt's hands were stroking his arms and squeezing his biceps. Dave felt a jolt of electricity shoot through his body at the touch.

They both wanted to feel more.

Detaching himself from Kurt, Dave pushed himself up into a sitting position on the bed, before pulling Kurt into his lap. Kurt draped his legs around Dave's waist and pulled him in close with his arms, placing kisses along Dave's neck and jaw line. He could feel the stubble there as he kissed it.

Dave tugged at Kurt's shirt. Kurt lifted his arms up and let Dave slip his shirt off. Looking into Dave's eyes he looked for confirmation before doing the same with Dave's vest. He had to catch his breath as he for the first time took in Dave's bare upper torso. His chest was huge and was covered in dark chest hair and Kurt couldn't help but let his fingers run through it and marvel at the feel of it under his fingers.

Dave looked fucking amazing. Kurt had never been with someone of Dave's build but boy, did he find him attractive. He let his hand run up and down Dave's chest all the way to his stomach and revelled at the small layer of padding there.

Dave had his eyes closed at that point and was panting trying to hold on to some sort of control. The sheer touch of Kurt's hand on his body was enough to almost send him over the edge. He was sure that Kurt, being in his lap, must feel the way his touch had him turned on. After all his thin layer of boxers would not really be hiding anything.

If Kurt did in fact know about his predicament, it didn't seem to deter him. On the contrary, Dave was sure he could feel Kurt move his hips slightly as he continued to stroke his body, which elicited all sorts of noises from Dave that he was sure he had never made before.

Dave didn't want to hold back anymore. He wanted more, he needed more. He grabbed Kurt and pushed him back onto the bed and moved on top of Kurt.

Kurt let out a high pitched moan as he felt Dave's body crash into his. He loved Dave's solid body on top of his own smaller one and grabbed hold of Dave's shoulders to pull him in closer.

They kissed again while their hands were busy exploring one another, roaming over bare skin and their chests were pressed together. They could feel each other's laboured breathing as they kissed each other breathless.

Somehow Kurt's hands found their way to Dave's boxers and were tugging at their waistband. Dave froze and stopped kissing Kurt and stared at him.

Kurt gulped. "Sorry, I… if you don't want me to that's perfectly ok"

Dave smiled nervously at Kurt. "No… it's not that I don't want to… it's just… I've never… you know…"

"Been with another man" Kurt finished the sentence for Dave.

Dave nodded feeling very embarrassed.

Kurt lifted up his head and placed a kiss on Dave's lips. "I know… and we don't have to do anything you don't want to but I would love…"

Kurt didn't get to finish his sentence as Dave's lips were back on his and his hands were moving down Kurt's chest and stomach and rested on the waistband of Kurt's sweatpants. Dave wanted this.

He looked at Kurt as if waiting for permission and when Kurt nodded Dave moved down towards Kurt's feet and grabbing the waistband pulled down Kurt's pants and boxers in one swift motion before pulling them off all the way and throwing them on the floor.

Kurt felt Dave's eyes on him and the way he looked at him turned him on even more than he already was.

Dave sat between Kurt's legs and took in the beauty of the man before him. He let his eyes roam across Kurt's body coming to a stop at Kurt's erection. "You are so fucking beautiful" he growled out before allowing his hands to stroke up Kurt's thighs, getting lost in the sensation of the warm skin against his fingers.

He stared at Kurt's cock and instinctively licked his lips. He had never touched another man's cock before but his hands were aching to touch Kurt, to make him feel good.

Kurt had his eyes closed and was enjoying the way Dave stroked up and down his thighs. He moved his hips involuntarily, being desperate for some friction but knowing there would be none. He moaned as Dave's hands were stroking closer and closer towards his aching erection.

"Please" he whimpered "Touch me."

That was all the encouragement Dave needed and he tentatively placed a hand around Kurt's cock and gave it a little stroke. Dave groaned out at the touch as did Kurt. It felt amazing touching another guy and getting the reaction he got from Kurt.

He let his thumb brush over the head and Kurt jerked up and let out a low whine.

"Oh god, please" Kurt begged opening his eyes and looking directly at Dave, communicating without words what it was that he wanted.

Kurt pulled himself up and dived in for another kiss before tugging again at Dave's waistband. This time Dave just nodded and let Kurt push him back onto the bed. Kurt removed the boxers and marvelled at Dave's erection and wanted nothing more than to feel Dave inside him.

He leaned down and placed little kisses all along Dave's impressive legs and thighs and up across his stomach and chest until he reached Dave's collar bone where he stopped and nibbled and sucked leaving a big mark. Dave let out a string of incoherent babbles and noises which were only spurring Kurt on.

He kissed along Dave's neck and stopped at his ear whispering. "I want to feel you Dave."

Dave grunted and jerked his head up looking directly into Kurt's eyes. He wanted this so freaking much; he thought he would burst just from the thought of it.

Kurt saw the need in Dave's eyes and couldn't wait any longer.

"Hold on a second" he said hopping off the bed and heading for the bathroom. He rummaged through Dave's toiletries for anything that they could use as lube and came back with a bottle of body lotion. That would have to do.

He jumped back on to the bed only to be pinned down immediately by Dave who covered him with kisses and leaving a few love bites of his own on Kurt's neck.

Dave let his hands wander back down towards Kurt's crotch and started stroking his erection again. Kurt was losing control fast and quivered under the touch, needing more.

Dave might have been in complete denial about his sexuality but he knew where things were supposed to go when two guys were making love. His fingers were trembling as they slowly made their way from Kurt's crotch towards his entrance.

"Wait" Kurt said which made Dave yank his hand away immediately. Did he do something wrong?

Kurt saw the look of panic in Dave's eyes and gave him a reassuring smile "You will need this." He said reaching for the body lotion.

"Here, give me your fingers" he said and then spread a generous amount of body lotion onto them. "You need to stretch me."

Kurt laid back down and spread his legs to give Dave access.

Dave started circling his finger around Kurt's entrance before pushing it inside and let out a deep growl at the feeling of actually being inside Kurt his hand still trembling.

Kurt moaned and moved his hips encouraging Dave to start moving his finger. Dave complied and started to slowly move in and out before adding another finger and slowly stretching Kurt open.

Kurt was being driven insane by the sensation of Dave's fingers inside him, His hands were fisted in the sheets and he had trouble holding off the impending release he could feel built up.

"Dave now, please" he begged.

Dave submitted to Kurt's request and removed his fingers and positioned himself between Kurt's legs. He couldn't focus on anything other than Kurt and the way he looked at him, waiting and wanting.

He placed his hands on Kurt's waist to steady himself and slowly pushed inside, being overwhelmed by the tightness and groaned out in pleasure, his head rolling back.

He then started thrusting slowly and soon he and Kurt were moving in unison, each thrust met with a roll of the hips while all the time their eyes were interlocked.

Dave lowered his body and pinned down Kurt's arms either side of his head and started to kiss him while thrusting. Kurt cried out as Dave finally hit his prostate. "Oh god, do that again" he whimpered.

Dave started thrusting with a bit more force and could feel his orgasm building up. He lifted himself up and placed one of his hands on Kurt's cock and started to stroke in time with his thrusts.

Kurt was falling apart under Dave and suddenly came with a loud "oh fuck", followed quickly by Dave who was pushed over the edge when he saw and felt Kurt orgasm.

Dave blacked out for a second and fell on top of Kurt in a boneless heap.

Neither of them moved, they slowly were catching their breath and rode out the afterglow of their orgasms.

###

Kurt was the first to recover and he wrapped his arms around Dave and started to place little kisses over any part of Dave he managed to reach.

Dave let out a noise between a laugh and a sob, clinging onto Kurt and burrowing his head in the nape of Kurt's neck.

They stayed like that for a long time, neither of them wanting to break the silence, as if speaking would bring them back to the here and now.

Dave rolled over to his side and pulled Kurt in. He never wanted to let go of this man. He knew there was a world out there waiting for him, a world where he had to face himself and people around him. He wished he could just lay here forever and just forget about that world.

Tears started to form in his eyes, he was sure they must be tears of joy but then he thought of his kids and he clung even closer to Kurt.

Kurt hugged back with all his strength and stroked Dave's hair. "Shh, it's going to be ok. I'll be here for you" he whispered in Dave's ear. He didn't know whether things would be ok but he meant what he said, he wanted to be there for him.

Kurt had no idea what this was or where it may lead but somehow Dave Karofsky, it seemed, was this continious presence in his life, even when he hadn't been around, and now all of a sudden their lives were intertwined in a way that he couldn't quite explain.

Dave just nodded and fought back tears and smiled at Kurt. "Thank you Kurt, thank you so much. You really saved my life in more than one way last night." Dave stroked Kurt's hair and placed a gentle kiss on his jaw.

They were suddenly pulled out of their cocoon by Dave's phone going off. "Shit, that must be my wife" Dave said sounding panicked. He hadn't called her since yesterday evening and she probably was wondering why he hadn't called since.

"I'll better get that" he said apologetically. Kurt just nodded and disentangled himself from Dave.

"Hi" Dave said trying to sound cheerful.

"Hi honey. Is everything ok? It's 10am and I thought you wanted to set off by 9. I was getting worried about you." Heather said.

Dave looked over at Kurt and didn't really know what to say. "Yes, everything is fine. I,… I've overslept. I should be on my way soon. I would have called you in a minute myself" he lied.

Heather hesitated a bit before answering. "Ok, honey, if you say so. Just drive carefully. The kids miss you and don't forget Toby's match later this afternoon. You promised him you would make it."

Dave groaned. He had forgotten about the match. "No, of course I haven't forgotten. I'll make it in good time don't worry." And just like that the real word was back with a vengeance. Bearing down on him and begging him to make a decision. To carry on living a lie or to face up and be honest to people around himself.

"I'll see you later, babe" he said and disconnected the call.

He looked at Kurt as though the man sitting on his bed would have the answers he was looking for. He sighed.

Kurt looked up at Dave and his heart was breaking at the pain he saw in Dave's eyes. He got up off the bed and walked up to Dave snaking his arms around him and pulling him in for a hug.

Dave heaved a sigh and melted into the hug. He knew at that moment what he needed to do.

* * *

><p><strong>AN 2:** I would not advocate unprotected sex in real life!

And I got really carried away with the smut (*blush*).I hope it was believable in the context of this story. And this was only my second attempt at writing smut, I am still very much learning! Please let me know what you think. Reviews are loved and make me a better writer!


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